Oneshots & Ideas & Giveaways
by Iskandr
Summary: This will be a collection of oneshots, short stories and ideas that I either have no interest or so far didn't have the time of developing into full stories in their on right, with little coherence. Should any of this inspire you in turn, feel free to drop me a message. I will have done some preliminary work on most of these and likely have some notes lying around you could use.
1. No 1 - The Zero of Zero

_This will be a collection of oneshots, short stories and ideas that I either have no interest or so far didn't have the time of developing into full stories in their on right. There will be little coherence, every chapter will likely stand or fall on it's own feet._

 _This particular one was written after reading_ _ **"I, X your Familiar"**_ _, also available on this site, in which X of the Megaman franchise is summoned to Halkeginia by Louise. Zero being my favourite character from that setting I immediately begin to think: What if… Turns out, I was far from alone with this and there are a number of these on , so I have no interest in developing this myself. The only thing left to be said is that I much prefer the "Command Mission" Looks of Zero to the "Mega Man Zero" games… "rockman-forte" on Deviantart did a very good character art for him._

* * *

With a sound like a thunderclap the cloud was blown outwards by a shock wave that send the students stumbling and holding on to each other. Nervous chatter erupted from the teenagers, but died down almost as fast as they became aware of what had caused the commotion.

Before their eyes, a being of red and white and gold crouched in a small crater of its own making, the grass around it blackened and steaming, turned to pure white ashes where it's fist had struck the ground. As it rose, flexing it's fingers, the students became aware of the magnificent armour it was wearing, the blood red breast plate, accentuated with white and gold, the emeralds and sapphires catching the sunlight, the giant, armoured boots, the massive Gauntlets and the serrated open helmet. As a gentle wind played with the veritable mane of golden hair flowing down the warrior's back, more than anything else, however, their eyes were drawn in by the sword of light he wielded in his other hand, burning as the sun itself, so bright staring at it would hurt the eyes.

More than one of the children took a few steps back as the warriors gaze now swept over them, and were it fell, eyes were quickly averted.

All eyes, except two.

"Who are you? Why have you brought me here?"

The warrior addressed Professor Jean Colbert, the only one who did not shrink before him, who now became acutely aware that this summoning ceremony had taken a turn for the worse. He had not seen eyes like these in a very long time and he now feared for his charges who had no idea of the gravity of the situation. Clutching his staff closely, he did not dare avert his gaze from the man before him, and wondered if he would be able to stop him, should his intentions prove hostile.

He did not understand the words the warrior spoke, but the meaning was self evident. Although Colbert did not recognize the warrior's language, his best option now was to talk, and hope he would recognize his.

"My name is Jean Colbert. This is the Royal Tristainian Academy of Magic. We mean you no harm."

The warrior raised a brow, as if in bewilderment, then took another look around. He watched as Colbert motioned for Miss Valiere, who had fallen to the ground before him, to stand up and take cover, then looked at the diminutive girl, as if acknowledging her for the first time.

"I know you."

He then spoke, perfectly understandable this time, and to Colbert's unending relief, the sword of light he had been holding, ready to strike the entire time, disappeared.

"Who are you, girl? Why am I here?"

Louise de la Valliére hesitated, as within her, education struggled with primal instincts. Her parents had taught her to be strong, to be brave, to be unyielding in the face of adversary. This part of her demanded that she stand up, answer the question of this being, who was undoubtedly her summoned familiar, complete the contract, stand in front of the class, her unrelenting tormentors, and announce to the universe that finally, once in her lifetime, her magic had accomplished something truly remarkable. But somewhere in her head, a voice that refused to be silenced, screamed at her at the top of it's lungs, that she should get up, run until her legs gave out and hide under the warm, save blanket in her room. Every second those steel blue eyes rested on her, unwavering, waiting, the voice grew louder and louder. Then she heard another speak to her.

"Miss Valliére! Louise! Please, get up..."

Professor Colbert. Always the considerate. Always kind. Always worried. No doubt he was now too. She could all but see him, standing behind her somewhere, probably holding out a hand. To help her up. To whisk her away to safety. Oh how sweet, how tempting this idea sounded. And yet, suddenly, yet another voice boomed in her head, drowning out all others:

No!

The warrior had looked at Colbert, now his eyes returned to her again. Ever patient, ever waiting. And now, finally, the whining voice went silent. She stood up. 13 generations of Valliéres had lived, ruled, and fought in this country. 13 generations she would dishonour to the bone if she were to turn away now. 13 Generations that were all now standing behind her. And her voice did no longer tremble.

"I am Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière. I have summoned you here, and by the five elemental Powers of the pentagon, I ask the founder to bless you, humble being, and to make you my familiar!"

She then approached, her heart pounding in her chest again. Speaking those words, taking these steps, this had taken all the courage she could muster. Reaching up to the giant of a man, because she could not possibly complete the contract otherwise, she just hoped, prayed without words that he would please, please, just go along with it.

Zero, however, was intrigued by this little girl and her courage. He had no idea where he was, no idea what had happened since he had killed Weil and hopefully destroyed Ragnarök. Since he had saved the world for Ciel and whatever remained of Reploidkind and – by proxy – the human race.

So he didn't ask. For now he would go along with the flow. And when he felt a gentle tugging at his neck, he bowed down, to shortly after feel once again the warm lips of a human touching his own.

The pain that flowed into his left hand as soon as she let go, as soon as he stood upright again. He only recognized it because it was such a novel sensation. Pain was a human prerogative. It was a useful tool, an evolutionary help even, but overall, it was an annoyance, staying your hands at inopportune times. No combat Reploid felt pain as a rule, the sensation being replaced by a simple warning system, and yet the presence of tactile sensors meant that every now and again, when something managed to bypass the circuit breakers, even Zero felt pain.

Looking at the back of his hand, he saw symbols appearing on it, etching themselves into the reinforced material.

 _[Datalinks / Accessing / … / Access failed, network connection timed out ]_

Well, something had reset that setting apparently...

 _[Setting query function to offline mode / Accessing local database / … / Symbols identified._

 _Runic script, Scandinavian origin, first millennium A.D. Futhark transcription:_

 _ **G**_ _ebo_ _ **U**_ _ruz_ _ **N**_ _audiz_ _ **D**_ _agaz_ _ **O**_ _thalan_ _ **L**_ _aukaz_ _ **F**_ _ehu_

 _/ End Query]_

"Runes? Gundolf...? You!"

He looked at the older man who had stood his ground before, showing him the runes engraved on his still smoking hand.

"What is this?"

The man had come closer, no doubt to protect the girl with the endless name, this... Louise... His expression had been one of concern so far, now he suddenly looked intrigued.

"Those are... your runes, as a familiar, I mean... But I never... excuse me for a moment..."

Zero watched as he fumbled around in his robes, finally fishing out a pad, no a book. And a pen of all things. A genuine, wooden pen. He hadn't seen one of those in a while. Then again...

Linen clothes... Those glasses on his nose, apparently lenses, probably a prosthesis... made from glass, seeing how thick it was… The staff was carved, by hand if the irregularities were any indication... The children's amulets, cast bronze. Low quality work...

Mankind had fallen even further it seemed... even if the planet at least had recovered. He had never seen this much green in his life.

But still, how did he fit into this? Had he fallen asleep again? For a few centuries this time? Had these people reawakened him? No. his internal clock was intact, still running and consistent with his memories. He had not been inactive since his battles on Ragnarök. No missing memories, no holes. It had indeed been only minutes. This seemed more like a teletransfer. But to where? This was to big to be Area Zero. So many questions...

They could wait. Turning to the pinkette he focussed on her.

"You said I was your... familiar."


	2. No 2 - A Study on Space Orks

_The warp seems to be for 40k what the Halloween episode is for "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". There are a number of stories on this site where a fleet, or a regiment or a single ship or even a single Space Marine get waylaid and end up in one setting or another. Some authors leave it ambiguous whether or not the Imperials (and the gods save that reality if it isn't Imperials) have travelled to another universe or merely through time._

 _This little dialogue popped into my head while I was reading one of those._

 _If some Imperials were to ever make contact with the SGC, they would assume time travel. It is not unheard of. The first impulse of the SGC on the other hand would be to debunk that somehow…_

* * *

 **SGC, Messhall (Carter, Jackson, O'Neill)**

 _Col. O'Neill:_

You know, I think the answer should be rather obvious. We can't be the past that leads to their future. They must have come from somewhere else...

 _Capt. Carter:_

How so, sir?

 _Col. O'Neill:_

Orks...

The leader of SG-1 gets a lot of empty looks

 _Col. O'Neill:_

As in, there aren't any.

He gets even more looks

 _Col. O'Neill:_

Oh come on people. I can't be the only one seeing this. Doesn't any of you remember the briefing about the "various Xenos that infest the galaxy"? Let's ignore for a moment the jackassery of making genocide a standard response to first contact. They outright told us that despite the 20 foot demons, the SM Elves and the intermittent emergings of democracy, "da Orks" are the potentially most dangerous threat to all lifeforms in the galaxy – including themselves.

 _Doc. Jackson:_

Hm. Yes, both fascinating and terrifying at the same time – like almost everything else from their briefings. But how does that...?

 _Col. O'Neill:_

Because apparently, Orks are the most numerous of all those "Xenos" they have encountered.

And we. Haven't. Met. Any!

Seriously. We have been out there for two years, and we met the Gould pretty much on day one and the Asgard on day two. Don't you think if there really was a raving race of war junkies out there, we would have at least heard of them by now?

 _Capt. Carter:_

Um... Not necessarily...

 _Col. O'Neill:_

Carter?

 _Capt. Carter:_

Now that I think about it, there is a possibility that seems rather probable. Oh boy, I really hope I am wrong here...

 _Col. O'Neill:_

Come on, Carter, spit it out...

 _Capt. Carter:_

Well, the Imperials told us about typical Ork behaviour. They are not really expansionist or even all that curious about the universe. They are dangerous, yes, but the real reason behind there being other races left in the galaxy besides them is because the Orks are quite happy to war amongst themselves.

 _Doc. Jackson:_

Pretty much like us, really...

 _Capt. Carter:_

Not quite, Daniel, no. Orks seem literally hardwired to hit first, ask questions never. Violence seems to be their one and only response to any sort of conflict and their drive to turn everything and anything into a conflict is only stifled by the presence of a leader – who will then seek to turn something else into a bigger conflict, hence the different tribes constantly killing each other off. It seems like a very clever evolutionary response, really. Because of their exponential population growth the race needs something to keep the numbers down somewhat in times of "peace", whereas in times of war they all rally around a leader to take on the external threat, with the growth now being a major asset...

 _Col. O'Neill:_

Get to the point, Carter... You were saying...?

 _Capt. Carter:_

Ah... Well, they also told us that Orks do not reverse engineer technology they find - they disassemble whatever they see and repurpose the parts. You pretty much stand no chance to get a Stargate to work if you just push buttons randomly, which seems to be the Ork approach, so I don't think any Stargate an Ork Warband came across would seem worth keeping intact to them.

 _Doc. Jackson:_

You think they would have destroyed it?

 _Capt. Carter:_

Mhm... Destroyed it, maybe reassembled the parts into a beam weapon of some kind. apparently they are very fond of those. At the end of the day, even Orkish interstellar technology is really not that impressive. They just hollow out asteroids and point them at a random star or board what the Techmarine called a space hulk to see where it takes them, most of the time.

 _Col. O'Neill:_

A space hulk?

 _Capt. Carter:_

Basically the wreck of a space ship that drifts in and out of the warp on its own. Since as far as we know no one uses the warp as a means of travel yet, there might not be all that many of those around, if any...

 _Col. O'Neill:_

Carter, you still haven't given me reason to believe... Also, wouldn't the asteroid thing take them centuries to get anywhere?

 _Capt. Carter:_

Millenia even, depending on which course they plotted. But I don't think Orks would care so much. For them, Space travel isn't nearly as boring as it is for us. with tens of thousands of them on board, I reckon they can pretty much amuse themselves with the occasional civil war...

My point is... They use an unbelievably slow method of interstellar travel. Getting from any star to any other would literally take them forever. Even if an asteroid full of Orks manages to completely kill all its inhabitants, it might presumably hit a suitable planet eventually, and with their method of reproduction, enough spores might survive re-entry to start a new population which would eventually the cycle anew – but it would take them a hundred thousands, maybe even a million years. According to the Imperials, they had millions of years. The species is unbelievably old. Some of them might have sailed past us when the dinosaurs had just gone extinct.

So, at the end of the day:

We haven't met them, because we only ever travel the stars via the Stargate network…

 _Doc. Jackson:_

And they haven't met us, because not only do they propagate through space much slower than any other race we have ever met, but they actively destroy the Stargate network. Uh oh...

 _Cap. Carter:_

Exactly. If you think about it, there really is no way at all we could have met them. Whenever we reach a new planet, we only ever explore a miniature part of it. A hundred miles out, maximum, and that is only via UAVs, really. And we only did that once so far. Usually the Stargates are positioned in the most interesting parts of a planet anyway, so there is no need to go anywhere else.

Bottom line, we cant go to an established Ork Planet, because the local populace would have destroyed the Stargate long ago. We can go to a planet that is currently under siege by Orks, or a recent colony, but we wouldn't know it. again, because we usually don't stay long enough or explore enough. And if they landed their forces close enough to the Stargate, again, they would "loot" it, therefore preventing us from going there. The only way for us to meet them would be for us to arrive when an Ork Invasion has either just made planetfall close enough to the gate for the locals to tell us or an Ork expeditionary force of an earlier landing has just discovered the gate but not yet broken it apart. Both are very small time frames and in the latter case our people might not even survive to report back, MALPs not withstanding.

 _Col. O'Neill:_

Carter, if I was keeping score, I would have run out of space for more notches on my belt by now, and the Jaffa at least have more than crude steel axes, some body armour and a resemblance of a battle tactic. I think we would do alright against a couple of savages.

 _Capt. Carter:_

Not against these, we wouldn't, Colonel. Our weapons are not designed to combat a foe with their constitution. even if you hit them with a full magazine, it would literally do jack to them. There is a reason the imperials use slower rates of fire, but exploding bullets instead.

 _Col. O'Neill:_

Bigger spread, ammo conservation and higher damage per bullet... yeah, I get it.

Ok, kids. This was supposed to be me having a brilliant idea and I think you have turned it around on me more than enough. Now which one of us will have the honour of telling Hammond about this little tidbit of information?


	3. No 3 - Asgard-Replicator War

_Stargate_

 _The Asgard-Replicator War is a can of worms of epic proportions and a very good example of just how bad some writing can suck. The Goa'uld were so scared of the Asgard that the latter could bluff them into accepting a treaty under a threat of arms that was non enforceable, yet they are supposedly unable to figure out that while the Replicators are remarkably resistant to any energy based weapon, the actual blocky constructs are not very durable at all._

 _The "explanation" Thor gives is bullcrap, the ignorance on part of the Asgard, seeing how the Replicators have apparently used projectile weapons against them repeatedly, is bullcrap, the very idea that you can go ahead and loose battle after battle for a thousand years and still be alive against an enemy that multiplies exponentially, wait for it – is bullcrap. Seriously, the writers couldn't have done worse with this had they actively tried…_

 _I tried very hard to come up with a working version of the war myself and yet this still has holes..._

* * *

O'Neill:

"How many ships do you even have?"

Thor:

Currently the Asgard war fleet consists of about 50 million 325 thousand capital ships of all variants, directly supported by almost 2 million supply and logistic ships, operating from 992 outposts spread throughout the Ida Galaxy. This does not include however the civilian…

O'Neill

"Fifty! Million! Ships? And you couldn't spare a few every now and again to kick some Goa'uld ass?"

Thor:

"Our war with the Replicators is an ongoing engagement, continuously fought over the entirety of our home galaxy, at the highest of stakes. The Asgard fleet is fighting this war as we speak, engaging Replicator fleets, destroying outposts, scouting for hideouts and mining operations. I assure you, we take our responsibilities in your galaxy very serious, but every ship is indeed needed."

O'Neill:

"But…. Fifty million ships….!"

Thor:

"A galaxy is a very large area to patrol, and as the Replicators continue to learn what it means to wage war, we can no longer risk sending our ships out alone. Nowadays every battle has to be fought with overwhelming numbers in our favour, lest we risk a defeat we can no longer afford. Any ship we have sent to this galaxy in the past 200 years had been previously damaged in battle to the point were we deemed it unfit for combat in the war, yet able enough to make our presence felt here – and the time it remained in the Milky Way coincided with the time it needed to repair itself."

Daniel:

"But if you have the benefit of greater numbers, then why haven't you won by now? Are they really that dangerous of an opponent in battle?"

Thor:

"We have lost only a handful of engagements since the war began one thousand years ago. And yet, we are loosing, simply because winning is all but impossible."

Carter:

"Oh, I think I know where this is going….."

Thor:

It is, as you suspect, Colonel Carter. The Replicators procreate at geometric speed. The Asgard do not. By now, all Asgard warships are either remote controlled drones, or fully automated vessels like this one, crewed by a single Asgard. It was done mostly out of necessity. Still, despite our industrial capabilities, Building ships is only one part of the equation. Training new commanders takes time, and as much as I loathe to say it, not everyone is suited for the task. At the beginning we had the technological advantage, as well as our expertise in war. We soon lost the advantage of greater numbers and have been loosing all others as time went by. As the Replicators continue to close the gap that exists between us, they are slowly driving us into a corner simply because we cannot field enough vessels against them.

O'Neill

"I'm sorry, what? Fifty million is not enough?"

Carter:

"Not for a galaxy it isn't. I'm guessing you thought you had won the war a few times?"

Thor:

"On several occasions we had hoped that this was the case. We were always mistaken. No matter how many of their fleets we defeat, how many of their outposts we destroy, the ultimate goal, that being their complete destruction, has so far eluded us."

Carter:

"Because you always missed a few bugs…"

Thor:

"Yes. A single functional Replicator, if left alone, can create a formidable force in a very short space of time. Every time we defeat their major assault forces, we have to try and scour the galaxy for any remnants, and destroy them before they splinter again and re-infest the galaxy, starting the cycle all over again. The Replicators in turn are trying their best to interrupt our sensor networks to deny us the ability to find them more easily, and try to hide for as long as possible while rebuilding their forces while simultaneously hiding some of their numbers in remote areas as backups.

We are trying to fortify any systems we have cleansed of them, but the sheer number of solar systems makes the task unfeasible as a means to achieve victory, as it ultimately binds our industrial potential. Even just containing them within Ida consumes a lot of our resources, but we are reasonably sure we have managed this at least."

Daniel

"How so?"

Thor:

"We take sporadic surveys into the surrounding galaxies, yours included. None of them have ever reported any signs of a Replicator infestation. And while we could have missed some, there is one undeniable indication that we have not."

Carter:

And that is…?

Thor:

"Simple math dictates that, had we missed an infestation, the Replicators would have overrun the universe by now, and returned with overwhelming numbers to finish us off. This is the threat we face, O'Neill. The complete destruction of all life, everywhere. We simply cannot spare even a small contingent of our ships to police the Milky Way on a regular basis. Even if we were to save the current generation of humanity from the Goa'uld, as long as this course of action results in an increased probability of the Replicators ultimately winning this war, the next generation is doomed anyway and we would not have done you a service. On the risk of sounding callous, if it comes to a head, the sacrifice of your race in exchange for the continued survival of the innumerable sentient species that undoubtedly populate the rest of the universe, while tragic, would still be the preferred outcome"


End file.
